I forgot to explain exactly how I’m being unfair today. I said I don’t want to hear anyone tell me how to make meaning out of Natan’s death unless I ask them. That’s not entirely true. One of our friends wrote to us that his mother told him that babies who died at birth or soon after are souls who are already complete. He also wrote that he thought maybe he shouldn’t tell us that, that maybe we don’t want to hear it, or that maybe it would insult us, or be too different from what we believe. But somehow, in the context of it being from him, I liked it. Maybe because I know he has suffered a terrible loss. Maybe because he wrote us a long letter totally void of platitudes and because I don’t know another person as kind as him. I don’t know. I know for sure I couldn’t say what he did and be successful in making someone feel better. And maybe other people have meant as well as him, but somehow I don’t think so.


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