I have absolutely no problem holding two conflicting beliefs at the same time. Nor am I particularly bothered by other people’s hypocrisy. I see no reason why you can’t believe one thing and do another. Flip-flopping, as well, is a perfectly fine approach in my opinion. None of these behaviors cause me any “uncomfortable tension” whatsoever, or compel me to devise a new set or system of beliefs. Except of course, when they do. I know that consequences are illusionary. But I’m still furious that I can’t control what happens.
I did everything right for my pregnancies, and they both ended in tears. That of course doesn’t mean I should have just gone ahead and ignored the advice of medical professionals. And now I don’t know what to do for the future. Another pregnancy? My doctor says it would be totally fine to try again, whenever we want now. We have no idea what went wrong, really, but we’ll do a cerclage, 2nd trimester progesterone shots, and steroids at 24 weeks just in case. Bed rest? I don’t know. We’ll see what happens. Of course, while anecdotal evidence supports it, some studies have shown it can actually cause pre-term labor. As an historian, I am perfectly happy, thrilled really, that two contradictory facts are sometimes true. Taxes unequivocally caused the Americans’ war for independence; while at the same time, taxes unequivocally did not. I can easily make the case for each (and other topics, far more interesting.)
But I am absolutely not okay with two opposing opinions being true in medical science. Can we not do better than this? Again, as an historian, I love to talk about the fallibility of all sciences, especially medicine. I like to talk academically about the imprecision of obstetrics and gynecology, and the evils of the medicalization of childbirth in the 19th and 20th centuries. But I don’t like it to be about me. My doctors did the best they could. Really. In fact, I liked and trusted them all so much, I hope to go through pregnancy and childbirth with them again. But last time the best just wasn’t good enough. It really could have been.