I finally finished writing thank you notes for all the flowers, food, and donations to the March of Dimes and our synagogue in Natan’s memory. That task has been plaguing me for a long time. I am immensely grateful that so many people were moved to do these things for us, and I wanted to say thank you for all the expressions of love and support. I wasn’t sure how long I had to do it. I mean, I’m sure there’s no etiquette rule like for weddings and baby showers, but I just wanted it done. But what do you say? Food, flowers, and donations to our synagogue were easy to express thanks for. But the March of Dimes? “Thank you for your donation to the March of Dimes in Natan’s memory. We hope it will prevent more families from going through what we have.” I guess that’s true, but it sounds so banal, and more like a response from the organization itself than bereaved parents.
Even though it’s not relevant, I kept remembering how one relative sent us a note after our wedding, telling us, that “[insert elderly relative’s name here] hadn’t received a thank you note and was wondering if you’d gotten her gift yet.” This card was waiting for us when we got home from our honeymoon. So then when we did send the card along with the others, I felt like those family members would think we only sent a thank you card because we were prompted to do so.
Anyway, it’s probably not accurate, but for some reason every day I put off those response, I felt that relative tut-tutting over my poor manners. Old resentments die hard apparently, and pop up at uncomfortable times..