Rational thoughts

I am annoyed when the counter woman at the corner coffee-shop calls me “miss” three times during one transaction. As in, “Can I help you, miss?” “You have $3.80 left on your gift card, miss,” and “Here’s your decaf early gray, miss.” Yes, I know it might be a regional thing. Yes, I know I look younger than I am. And yes I know I have bigger things to worry about. But I just cannot stand it. I’ve never liked it, but I noticed in the fall that at a certain point, when I got to a certain size, it became “ma’am.” So, now that I’m back to “miss,” I wonder what on earth she is thinking. Nothing at all, apparently. Why the hell do I come here?

Whenever I get a new prescription, I worry that the pharmacist messed up and that I’m actually getting a prescription that will cause a miscarriage or birth defects.

I am worried that my pregnancy fogged brain will make me forget some key piece of information in preparation for my cerclage so I’m thinking I’ll call the doctor’s office this week just to make sure I really know what’s going on, and will write it down.

I’m no longer scared of ghosts or cemeteries after dark.

Rereading the Anne of Green Gables series now, after learning that one of L. M. Montgomery’s sons died at birth, has been very cathartic. Much more so than books explicitly about loss.

10 responses to “Rational thoughts

  1. LeRoy Dissing

    I will never call you “miss” or even “mrs” unless you tell me to. It will always be Sara: yesterday, today and in the future. I do not really like to be call Mr…..way to formal and almost antiquated.

    Have never read Anne of Green Gables but seen the movie I believe. Sounds like you are having a relaxing weekend – good for a change.

  2. Isn’t it interesting how now when we read biographies of well known people and it mentions that a child was lost at or near birth, we are so much more attuned to what that would have really meant. Because that’s usually all it is, a mere mention, a blip on the history of this person’s otherwise notable life. And yet, now I know all too well how much that event probably shaped and colored everything that came after it.

    I think I would have missed that before. I think I would have assumed that the single sentence attributed to the loss of an infant was sufficient. How sad.

  3. I’m with you on being called “miss.” Although, when I was 20, I spent a year in France and was equally annoyed about being called “madame.” And, now that I think about it, I’m also annoyed when people I don’t really know call me by my first name. Basically, I guess I’m just easily annoyed.

  4. Wow, I had no idea…now I have to go back and read up on that. I vaguely remember something about at least one character losing a baby, but I don’t know if it was early or late or what they said about it.

    And now I want to figure it out.

  5. A couple months after losing William I was showing slides to my students who were starting a project where they were to create a work of art using personal symbols. The presentation that I had created the year before contained works from Rene Magritte, Georgia O’Keeffe, and Frida Khalo. While I definitely had known Frida’s story prior to that it was amazing to me that it had never really sunk in that she had lost several babies and was never able to give birth to a living child. Previously when I spoke of the pain she experienced during her life I had alluded to the physical pain and the emotional pain associated with it and her tumultuous relationship with Diego. Sorry to go on and on about that…

  6. Niobe, you make me laugh. I guess I am easily annoyed too, but here I think it’s justified.

    Thanks, Basilbean, I had forgotten that about Frida Kahlo, which of course points to what Lori said.

    Aurelia, Mrs. Allan, the minister’s wife in Avonlea, buried an infant son there, and in Anne of the Island or Anne of Avonlea, when she moves on, Anne promises to visit and leave flowers at the grave. That reminded me of our rabbi’s promise, that when we have to leave here, he would continue to visit Natan’s grave. In Anne of the Island Anne revisits a story she wrote for the Story Club about a minister’s wife who buries all 9 of her babies. Now that she’s older, she wonders how she could have found that horrible of a situation so romantic. I like that movement in her maturity – since it actually reflects what we’ve been saying here.

  7. I can so relate to your frustration at being called “Miss.” I was at the doctor the other day and the receptionist called me “Miss Merchant.” I was so close to saying, “actually, it’s Mrs. Merchant,” but I let it go. I’m sure that when we are in our fifties and people are still calling us “Miss” we will take it as a compliment 🙂

  8. I don’t know Emily – it’s the detachment of the title from anything else that annoys me. I’d be as annoyed even if I weren’t married because I feel like it suggests I’m a child. Josh & David have been “sir” for years and years now! When I’m 50, I’ll probably be the same as my mom and grandma – who both find/found it obnoxious when service people try to compliment them by pretending they’re young.

  9. I never read ‘anne of green gables’, maybe i should.

    Actually, “ma’am” used to annoy me to no end, because i thought it meant that i was old. Now that i actually AM old, heh heh, i don’t care what people call me….i even answer to ‘hey you’. Noone can pronounce my last name anyway. One of my students constantly calls me ‘miss’ and i think it is just really cute…

  10. Phantom Scribbler

    Sorry, I’ve been lurking here for awhile via niobe. In one of the later books in the Anne series, Anne’s first child, a baby girl, is stillborn.

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