If I ever….

If I ever need confirmation of our profound lack of taste in this world, this example would be it.  I wouldn’t even need to go so far as to also discuss this or this.  I’m so glad I decided to use some of my free time on my day off to read Salon.com, so that I could learn about how to have a child’s photos retouched from this article.  Because goodness knows that in those few moments when I’m not worrying about whether this baby will survive or where we’ll be dragging him to live in the future, I’m deeply concerned about whether he’ll be photogenic. And I’m glad to know that if I have a child as hideous as any of these children, there will be help for me, so I don’t have to be too embarrassed to show pictures to our friends and relatives. And by hideous of course I mean perfectly normal and very cute. For the love of I don’t know who, they have replaced the eyebrows on the little girl in blue! She has gone from a sweet-looking little girl in an unfortunate outfit to an absolute freak. I would possibly faint if I opened my email or a card in the mail containing news about a friend’s or relative’s family and that fell out. When I recovered enough to realize that OF COURSE they haven’t allowed these horrible things to be done to their daughter, I might worry about why they’re sending a picture of an ugly doll.

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8 responses to “If I ever….

  1. I clicked the link before i read your post, and thought it was one of those make-a-doll-that-looks-like-your-child things. Truly bizarre.

  2. I can’t imagine who is the target market for this, uh, service. And I think “The Ugly Doll” would be a great children’s book title.

  3. I can’t imagine who is the target market for this, uh, service. And I think “The Ugly Doll” would be an excellent children’s book title.

  4. While I couldn’t agree more, I have to urge you to stop maligning those much beloved characters in this house– uglydolls. All I’m saying…

  5. Nothing in my mind beats natural beauty. Kids/babies are always cute except to guys who call them “prunes” when they are first born. I know cuz I did it until we had our own.

  6. OMG! I too thought they were dolls (the creepy kind where their eys roll back in their heads). Really, it is so weird I don’t even know what to say except what will they think up next? (and don’t anyone answer that) Also, thanks Julia for the link to the uglydolls, those are really cute!

  7. It looks pretty distasteful to me. It reminds me of that little girl who was murdered all those years ago, who participated in beauty paegents. There’s something not right about using adult products (= makeup) on little children.

    Off topic, but are we allowed to link to you now?

  8. This cracked me up. Your part about worrying about whether your child will be photogenic, gave me a good chuckle. I can relate to your brand of humor!

    When I was in high school there was a crazy mother of two girls, who actually went so far as dyeing the younger one’s hair blond because she thought she would have better success as a child model. The child was all of about 8 years old at the time!! Can you imagine?!?! Even in high school I knew that was flat out NUTS!!

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