So I’ve been working consistently since about 8:30am this morning. I thought just now that that means I should take a break like regular people. Hence you lucky readers get a post. I’ll try to make it one worth your 2 minutes. First, in answer to Rosepetal’s comment (so glad you’re reading by the way!), yes, you can link to me. I don’t know but I don’t think she’ll find me here. I’ve tried thoroughly to search myself and couldn’t find this blog, so that’s safe. As for linking through other blogs, well, I don’t think she’ll do that but if she does, at this point I’ll do something to get rid of her.
I’ve noticed that my link to the little baby in blue in the last post no longer works. Too bad since it’s the most disturbing one, but for matters other than my entertainment, I’m glad the horror is gone. I hope her life is better than that treatment of her photographic image implies.
I’m functioning well enough – but anxiety is definitely winning on a regular basis. Or maybe it’s caution. I don’t know. In any case, starting about two days ago I noticed an increase in infrequent & painless contractions. Nothing like before, of course, or you’d be hearing from me from a hospital ward. Logically, I know it’s harmless and is right in line with what Dr. K told me to expect, better than we expected, actually. Even still, emotionally, I cannot bear it. The only way I don’t feel them is to half sit/half lie on the couch with a pillow under my hip. I’m so lucky that I can work from this position. I tried to put it out of my mind, to rationalize it, but that 3.5cm measurement of my cervix got to me. I know it’s good but it’s only halfway good. Any shorter and we’d start worrying, so here I am worrying about whether I should be worrying. Worrying about what’s in store for Tuesday’s measurement, since we may have possibly lost 8mm in 6 days. Yes, we’re still better off than last time, but I want a more than just a better outcome because there’s a plethora of possible outcomes between better and best. Maybe I need to take Catherine’s nurses advice and think good thoughts.
Here’s one: our young neighbors who smoked on the porch making our living room stinky if the window was open have been replaced by a family with two very young kids already and the woman is pregnant. Wait, is that a good thought or not? I’ll let you know in a few months.
Updated to add: You can link to me as Further Records now. The old title is a better one, but alas. How about a contest? I’ll give a gold star to the first person who can guess how/why I chose the new title. Also, I called the doctor because I just wanted some comfort for my nerves. The nurse told me exactly what I know already, that there’s often a discrepancy between operators, machines, and transvag vs. abdom ultrasound, but she didn’t try to dismiss my anxiety at all, and suggested I come in Monday morning instead of Tuesday just to feel reassured faster. They’re so nice at this practice.