You don’t say?

The doctor’s appointment took forever.

The cervix looks fine, somewhere between 3.5 and 4.3 depending on who you ask and how you look at it. So we have another two week reprieve. But I’ve already known this since yesterday – we went to L&D in the afternoon. I was just sitting in my usual spot, when all of a sudden my lower pelvic area and back began hurting so badly I could hardly walk, the world went so fuzzy I almost passed out, and I broke out in a sweat. I was so out of it even the cats were frightened, according to Josh, but honestly I was confused I didn’t know what was going on.

They couldn’t find anything wrong. Fortunately, the baby was fine, and the cervix still looked long. No sign of any infections or problems. Towards the end of the ordeal, though, we had a weird moment. The heartbeat monitor started flying all over the place from the kicking, and simultaneously the pain exploded in my back and bowel. I know I just said a few weeks ago that this baby is “calmer” than Natan. I take that back! It took quite a bit longer to feel him, I guess since the placenta is anterior, but starting yesterday it’s been almost non-stop. Which is nice, except I guess he has a preference for hanging around the lower back area during his I don’t know what, soccer practice maybe? The doctor said today that it’s possible the baby has found a spot he likes that happens to be a bit close to a nerve.

My favorite part of yesterday evening, however, was definitely the resident’s attempts at comfort? reassurance? sympathy? Not really sure. At one point she stated as she patted my foot and explained there didn’t seem to be anything wrong, “You know, pregnancy’s not supposed to be easy.” I don’t think she meant to be anything but kind, but it set off a round of maniacal giggles that continues today when I think of it. “Not…easy?” Well what do you know, here I was thinking it was supposed to be a cake walk. Next time I’m attacked by a fit of worry or blindsided by sudden memories of “last time,” I’ll just remind myself, “oh yeah, this is how it’s supposed to be.”

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16 responses to “You don’t say?

  1. Love me some patronizing medical personal. I am a mean bitch nowadays, so I might have asked her exactly how not easy it is supposed to be, and whether it is supposed to be any not easier than burying your baby. But again, I am just a bitch, and I don’t like it when people don’t read what they are supposed to (your chart) or don’t think…

    Glad the cervix is ok. Do you have to go tomorrow again to get the shot?

  2. If I’d gotten to see my normal doctor today, I might have suggested she tell the resident to strike that one from her list of patient advice. I don’t think you’re bitchy – I wish I had responded – I was too caught up in the physical moment however to do it in a “helpful” way. I’d have just come off even more hysterical.

  3. I forgot half of what I wanted to say.

    We’ve just now made Monday progesterone day – last week it was a Monday because that was my u/s day and I made my next doc appointment for two weeks from today.

  4. What a scare. I’m glad everything is okay. What a funny resident! She should write a book for pregnant women! “Things to keep in mind when s**t starts getting bad, painful, or tragic.” I have two dr’s appts back to back tomorrow, which will have me there after lunch probably until they close. Luckily, I got a mp3 player for my birthday! So I won’t be too bored. Is your next appt in 4 weeks? I’m hoping they’ll start seeing me every 2 wks from now on.

  5. Mary – my appointments are every two weeks. We started that pattern early on, and I’m not sure if they would have put me at every 4 weeks at some point, because every time anyone says, “let’s see, we have you going how long between appointments?” I respond, 2 weeks and that’s the longest timespan I can handle. I know you had trouble early on with doctors, and I’m lucky that my doctors are so receptive to my emotional as well as physical needs, but I think you have every right to make it clear that you need more.

  6. Pregnancy may not be easy, but we should at least be able to hope for a live baby at the end. Maybe that would be a good response?? What a twit!

    Reminds me of the oh-so-helpful perinatologist who assured me that my premature delivery of Molly and Joseph was just a “twin thing.” Shockingly, I really think he thought that was a helpful thing to say!

  7. Whew, glad everything is ok! So scary….

  8. What an ordeal — I’m glad everything is fine. Perhaps you should sign him up for a soccer team sooner rather than later…

  9. the L&D episode sounds miserable and scary…the cervix sounds great. i’m very glad. and giggling at the resident? less troublesome than beating her senseless i suppose…people blow me away with their emotional ineptitude sometimes. (i’m assuming here that she’d seen your chart, knew your history…?)

    and…in response to your previous post about the gender pressure on your family’s part and how it doesn’t acknowledge what you’ve lost…just wanted to say that before O was born i had a long, hard adjustment to the idea of him being a boy. part of me really didn’t want to know (though we found out at 16 weeks…by that point we could already read u/s pretty well ourselves), part of me feared all sorts of replacement issues on his part, part of me just wanted the boy i’d already had. and people being excited about it confused me, because i couldn’t tell if they thought it was better that he was a boy, or not…it was just weird. so, i feel you. and i’m sorry.

  10. You’ve reflected my feelings exactly, Bon. I am confused about the excitement as well. Like yours, my pregnancies are so close together, and obviously the pain of losing Natan is still very present. It’s not a mistake to be pregnant again, for sure, I’m very grateful for that, and so in love with this new guy (despite his propensity for kicking me in the ass from the inside which he started up again this morning). I find though, that I’m not worried about his being a replacement baby for me – I just don’t want him to be a replacement for his brother for other people. I don’t want his presence to erase Natan’s absence for them.

  11. I’m shaking my head in disbelief over that comment. Not supposed to be easy? So if it were easy, that would mean something was wrong? Whatever.

  12. Oh, and I just remembered. You still haven’t told us what “further records” means. (unless — as is completely possible — I missed it) I don’t even have a wild guess.

  13. I’m glad everything looks ok.
    I think about you so much

    p.s. can i add you to my blogroll again??

  14. Hi Birdies Mama. I think about you often too. Please go ahead and add me to your blogroll again, as either Beruriah or Further Records.

  15. i was scared for a moment there. i’m glad there’s an explanation for the pain, he’s quite an active guy. thanks for keeping us up to date on the great progress.

  16. Glad for the great news on the cervix! EXCELLENT! Pregnancy isn’t supposed to be easy… wow, what a gem. And I bet you thought it was. I know I did.. (if by “easy” you mean freaking out when the baby doesn’t kick, freaking out when the baby does kick, being paralyzed with fear upon entering the OB’s office, listening to others’ “horror stories” about the episiotomy that left them sore as they nusre their perfect child… easy. I’m with Julia, I guess I’m just a bitch too.

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