Two weeks

Two weeks from today I will be at the gestational date with this pregnancy where I went into ptl with Natan. I’ve been trying NOT to be aware of that point but seeing as my body is determined to work like clockwork in some respects (I know, that’s usually a blessing) I always know that Saturday/Sunday marks a new week in either a cycle or a pregnancy. And I remember that I went into the hospital on a Wednesday.

So I feel distracted and hyper-aware of everything happening with my body now. Yes, I’m feeling fine and the cervix was good as of Sunday. But I feel a palpable dread. Will we make it to the other side? Can this possibly go well?


9 responses to “Two weeks

  1. The next two weeks are going to suck. I’m sorry. I don’t think there is any way around that. I just hope that after that you can breathe a little easier. I hope….

  2. Thanks, Julia. There isn’t any way around it. I hope you all will bear with me for a number of self-centered neurotic posts….

  3. Delurking to ask that you keep the neurotic posts coming. I’m newly pregnant after a stillbirth and it really helps to read them. In fact, the more neurotic the better…

  4. This is SUCH a hard point in a sub. preg. You will find new things to worry about when you pass that point (I’m afraid to say), but this is a particularly vulnerable time. And then, when you go sailing past that date (which I have every hope you will), it will almost feel surreal. I don’t know how to explain it…

    We’ll be listening…

  5. Thanks Lori. Welcome Megan. It’s a wild and scary ride.

  6. I was shaking and crying at this point with Mac. Nothing to worry about, but still really really hard.

  7. It’s totally understandable and perhaps unavoidable, but I do hope you find something to take your mind off of it. Hey, why don’t you write a manual titled, “Things NOT to say to a woman who has lost a child” and give it to Miss “pregnancy isn’t supposed to be easy”. That will give you something to do!!! I’ll be thinking of you and sending you warm fuzzies.

  8. Hi Beruiah,

    Thanks for visiting my blog and the words of advice. I sure need them! I can’t imagine how I’m going to be in a couple of weeks from now, but I think that paranoid and neurotic will top the list. I can really only go week by week right now, and I imagine you must feel the same.

  9. I’ll be right there with you. Times will be hard. I’ll be up many a night. We’ll make it through, though.

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