Here I am, 27 weeks pregnant. While most people we see regularly know, I still have not told a number of other people. I continue to fear that the moment I confess it all will turn bad. Out of the groups of 7 college and 5 high school friends who were so supportive after Natan’s death I have only told 4 of the former and 2 of the latter that I’m pregnant again. An elderly relative who I haven’t seen since I’m not sure when wrote the kindest letter expressing deep sympathy and hopes for the future after Natan died. I especially appreciated that she referred to hopes for a “next child” in her note – acknowledging that we’d lost a child, not “just” a pregnancy as some others of her generation seemed to imply. I haven’t written to her personally either, although she’s probably heard through my mom or others. I’m not sure.
Deep breath – because I’m having trouble with positive thinking again today – but will I be unfairly and unnecessarily alienating people who cared enough to reach out if they next hear from us via a birth announcement?