Oh so productive

Wow. It’s 3:34pm and I have done nothing today. I’ve chatted with friends, played a card game with Josh and read blogs. Consequently perhaps, I have nothing to say. Two days ago I wrote a “teaching philo.sophy” for the one job for which I still intend to apply (because it’s in a location we’d like to be near and it specifically says it will take apps from ABD’s (all but dissertation)). I don’t really know what it means to have and to write a “teaching philo.sophy” but I looked at some examples and gave it my best shot. Yesterday I made a few edits to that philosophy. Today I haven’t even managed that much.

I think if I were to look back in my archives, and back at myself, there was a time when I would have rejoiced at 31 weeks. Well I’m certainly glad to still be pregnant, but I’m not ready to give it up yet. I’m all the more anxious now to make it to 32. At 32, if 32, I’ll probably not be happy when I think about how much better 34 would be.

Ten cloth diapers arrived yesterday with a moby.wrap baby carrier. Ack. I actually hugged and kissed a diaper. I’m clearly insane. More evidence for that would be that I really have to ask this question: If I’m laying on my left side and the baby starts kicking me on that side, am I squishing him? I’m neurotically afraid I will inadvertently crush him. Which is ridiculous. Of course I won’t. I just have so little to distract me from neurotic thoughts right now. There’s plenty I could be doing, but it wouldn’t distract me I’m sure. I’d just be doing things while thinking crazy thoughts.

In a burst of optimism, Josh and I cleared out a drawer in the armoire last evening and made it the diaper drawer. We have to gradually clean out that piece of baby furniture we’ve been pretending is for our stuff for too long now. But I thought it was pretty darn impressive that we took a step in that direction rather than shoving the diapers in the closet or making them live in the outside hallway.

I have a list of other things I could have done today and will have to in the coming days. Oh well. I may never have such an excuse to be lazy in my life again. That’s a wish, actually, in case anyone’s listening.

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8 responses to “Oh so productive

  1. I was just wondering if I was crushing Myles when I sit too leaning far forward in my office chair and he wiggles and kicks. So yeah, doing things doesn’t really help all that much with the crazy. :o)

    I know! Entertain me with photos of your baby stuff!

  2. Oh, I just love thinking of you with your diaper drawer!! It’s so easy to make yourself crazy, that small steps toward optimism are always good to throw in now and then too.

    And I don’t think you are nuts at all for hugging and kissing a cloth diaper! I did my share of wistfully hugging blankets and little pink onesies, when pregnant with Pumpkin.

  3. Oh my gosh, I thought I was the only one who worried about squishing the baby! Sometimes when on my left side, she seems as though she is right in that nook of it, the part on the bed. It is very impressive the steps your taking. I keep thinking of doing things and then talking myself out of it.

  4. Well, I am right there with you thinking that 32 would be better, 34 much better, and 36 way preferable. You giving birth to a live baby at 38 looks damn excellent to me, actually.
    I wrote that statement this past summer. And it was apparently so impressive that all the people at the interview commented on it. So you are welcome to it, if you care. But I can’t guarantee how well it would translate to your field.

  5. I think you did a lot today! Chatting with me was very very productive, IMO! Unproductive would be forgetting to pick the dry cleaning and not putting away the breakfast leftovers; not that I would know anything about that, ahem….

  6. i hope your wish comes totally true…in another 3 or 4 or 7 weeks. ’til than, chill and try to cultivate as many slothlike qualities as you can. and if you figure out how to store up sleep for later, do that too. 🙂

  7. You’re right Aurelia, chatting w/you is always worthwhile.

    Would two desserts be slothlike enough for you Bon? No, I guess that’s gluttony. Sloth and gluttony together will make me quite the sexy mommy in a few months….oh well.

  8. I’m so happy that “I’m all the more anxious now to make it to 32.” At least, you are thinking that 32 is possible. That is so huge. Good for you………..

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