Apparently all my concentration on the mantra, “Stay pregnant. No labor,” worked far too well. Not that I think that’s the reason I’m still pregnant. But for some inexplicable reason this pregnancy has decided really really to go to term. I am quite the sensation at the doctor’s office, a real success story. Although for me, it still feels like a potential success story. Evidently I joined their care at the same time as at least one other woman who had “the same story” and she unfortunately went into preterm labor at 25 weeks and lost the baby again. I wondered if it was this woman. I’m sure she was sending her body “stay pregnant” messages constantly and I wish we knew more about why things work for some women and not for others.
I don’t know how OBs and high-risk specialists can handle it – I know most pregnancies work out well and seeing so many happy births must be incredibly satisfying. Yet my aunt asked me the other day if I was considering med school since I seem to spend so much time reading and thinking about birth. I responded with a hearty laugh. No way. Most importantly, I have no interest in dedicating another 6+ years to formal education. Also, I couldn’t tolerate going from one examination room where I’ve just had to tell a woman she has miscarried, to another where a woman like me sits – scared out of her mind, to another where a teenage girl sits with a surly boyfriend, all the while knowing that a certain percentage of these women will be devastated and I can’t stop it. I especially couldn’t enter each room fresh, leaving the joys or tragedies of the previous room behind to focus just on the patient and matter at hand. I’m not heroizing doctors, but it’s not a pain that I want to live with, certainly.
Monday’s appointment showed almost no progress. Dr. K told me that if she does see me on Monday, we will need to start considering options for induction. My due date is a week from Saturday, and we will induce at no more than 5 days beyond that. So we’re looking at a birthday of no later than Thursday, December 20th. As impatient as I am getting, induction increases the likelihood of c section and complications and as long as the baby is doing well and is active, I’ll suffer through the anxiety. I feel further from labor than ever – very, very few contractions. And yes, we’ve tried everything on everyone’s list. Even let Dr. K strip my membranes on Monday.