Josh commented last night that he feels like a liar for having been so anxious two months ago, and for telling a friend of ours who returned from abroad last week that the baby would “definitely” be here by the time we saw him next. I am with him completely in this sentiment. This seems impossible. Will the baby ever be born? It is of course impossible that he won’t. How strange to be in this place.
I did yoga yesterday. I feel better right now than I have in months. My sister tells me that the baby will be born the day after I think I can’t possibly feel any worse. I had days like that months ago. Now I feel freaking great, physically, by comparison. Anxiety is going to possibly drive me over the edge. A sobbing fest as I went to sleep last night. None of the safe lay solutions are going to do anything, clearly, because I have not been resting or avoiding heartburn. I am committed to waiting it out – induction is not ideal. Hopefully it won’t come to that. I am not in need of new ideas. We could not be more prepared. I just want this over with, I am whinier every day that goes by, and I am tired.