Wretchedness; or, to Induce or Not to Induce

All natural methods aside, we are seriously approaching the point of medical induction of labor. I hesitate to write about this online, as I know people have passionate feelings about it and I’m not sure I have the strength to hear much.  My due date is Saturday and I am progressing very very slowly. I have laughed at the irony. I have joked along with many friends and relatives. But at this point I am frightened. I am free to choose induction at any moment. Dr. K will not officially recommend it until I am past my due date.

Induction is not risk free and I do not want to introduce any new risks. Post-date pregnancy of course riskier but we will not go even a week beyond my due date.  The baby has looked great during every NST, the placenta looks healthy according to an ultrasound, he is active, and he is well positioned for labor.

Why can’t this be easier? I do not want to be driven to make a decision by anxiety rather than reason. And I don’t want to introduce a risk to myself or the baby because of my emotions.

My sister said I will feel awful right before I go into active labor. I had a day where I felt awful. Other people say I will be very energetic right before I go into active labor. I scrubbed our floor yesterday and cleaned most of the apartment today and I still felt like I had enough energy to go dancing (I didn’t though). When I told my mom I was scrubbing the floor, she relayed the news to her friend who was over and the friend confidently declared, “12 hours! I promise she will be in labor in 12 hours!” It has been 30. I don’t want myth. I just want someone to tell me what to do and actually be able to promise me it will be okay. And no one can do that.

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19 responses to “Wretchedness; or, to Induce or Not to Induce

  1. Oh (((((B))))) I had to comment as soon as I read this because your last two sentences struck me so much, you know I feel the same way about the decisions I have to make. Like you said, no one can tell you what to do. I guess I would suggest giving yourself a break from thinking about it. Saturday is your due date? You could try telling yourself you are going to give your mind a break from now till Fri. at noon or something. Sometimes a mind break is what we need to see more clearly. Thinking of you and your wee one, hoping he just decides to get going!!

  2. I wish someone COULD reliably promise you it would be ok. I’m sure a bunch of us would be happy to track that person down for you and extract what you wanted by whatever means necessary! But alas, that’s not how it works.

    C’mon, little boy. Your parents have soft blankets, warm milk, and a kitty that will be so much fun to watch (and eventually) chase. Life’s good on the outside! Come on out and find out.

  3. Well I’m sure you know the pros and cons of both. I both did and did NOT want to be induced with Andy’s pregnancy. Since I lost Jimmy three days past his due date, the standard protocol for a term loss is to induce a few weeks early. I was happy at this ’cause I did not want to go past what was medically necessary. On the other hand, the thought of a failed induction and possible c-section scared me. Then I remembered that at the end of (induction or not) chances were extremely high I’d have a baby. So I went ahead with the induction. If I were in your shoes, chances are I’d be wearing smaller ones since I have really big feet. Oh, and my induction went fine, I’d do it again next time. But that is just me. I wish you the best with whatever decision you make. We are all thinking about you.

  4. Do whatever is going to make you feel at peace. If you don’t feel right about inducing, wait it out. If your fear is getting the better of you, induce. (I know it is probably 100 mixed emotions and variations on that theme, but still.) He can’t stay in there forever, and so eventually he will come out. And it sounds like they are keeping a very watchful eye on the little man, and you are aware of kicks and whatnot, so be at peace with whatever decision you make. (hug)

  5. I just wish you, J, and the baby so much love and luck with whatever you decide to do, and I look forward to meeting the little guy soon.

  6. The universe just loves a good mind f***, doesn’t it? Just remember that anxiety is a part of reason and do what your gut tells you to do. I personally can’t wait to meet that little guy, so I can only imagine how you’re feeling. {{{hugs}}}

  7. It *is* ironic and I suppose it must feel like one more cosmic and not-so-funny joke at your expense. But, as of course, you already know, every course of action has its own set of risks and benefits. And maybe, you’ll go into labor naturally and won’t have to make the choice at all.

  8. B, we’ve discussed this a lot, and I stand by my position that you will not need more than your water broken for an induction. Every induction is different, and you should not assume that the worst.

    After all, what if everything goes right, and the induction turns out to be super simple, very very easy. Do you have a plan for that?

    Cause that COULD happen, you know.

  9. Maybe as soon as you make a decision, the labor will start on its own… I didn’t have the choice, and was more relieved to have the whole process started. Of course, I did end up with a c-section! When they told me, I cried and started to freak out. But, it helped to bring Ish here safely.

    I wish I could promise it will be okay. But please stop scrubbing the floor! The baby won’t be crawling for months!

  10. Yes Aurelia I have a plan for that – HAPPINESS and RELIEF that something has finally been easy and good! You are probably right that I will only need my water broken. That’s what Dr. K has said as well, although she’s honest that it can also start an avalanche of intervention. I want to be a whiner today though and complain that’s it’s not going the way I want!

    Mary, I wish someone would take my choice. Damn collaborative care. But then of course if my choice was taken, I’d cry about that. I’m reserving my right to be totally unreasonably emotional.
    Because I like Catherine’s words about anxiety and the universe’s mindf**k.

    Thank you everyone for the good thoughts.

  11. oh but B it is going exactly the way you want. Full term with the end result of taking your babay home with you.

    But I knew what you meant. Whine away sometimes it’s much needed.

    I was induced with Anders a little over 7 years ago, all was a little slow going but no real complications. when I got to the point where they said push I did. They did say had he not turned to face the front of my body I would not have needed a c-section and he would have been out in push 2. If you do not go into labor on Saturday don’t stress, just take a deep breath and do what needs to be done to get him out of there so you can finally give him the life you’ve finally allowed yourself to imagine.

    Stay strong and feel free to vent and whine, we are all here standing behind you no matter what.

  12. and by babay i meant baby ha ha

  13. When I clicked over this morning I thought to myself, “Surely it is today!” And yet, here you are, and the questions and anxiety are only mounting. I am so sorry. I am going to be praying that the decision is taken out of your hands in the most wonderful way possible. That this little guy will decide to come on out, all on his own, very, very soon.

  14. It’s a sad irony that you should be here left making a choice. However, I think you should simply closely listen to your heart, body, and mind, and do what you think is best. And whatever that is, your doctors will be there to do their part, as will we to lend our support, and no one will judge you, nor should you have any regrets. Always remember: the endgame here is a live baby. There are small (and not so much) “inducive” things they can do, like strip membranes and break your water, without having to introduce Pitocin. And obviousy, if they tell you one day that you need to go, then you do. And if you wake up and say, “I”m not comfortable with this going any further,” then you go. I don’t mean to be cagey or pander to everyone’s lovely thoughts on the subject, but I’m just saying: keep your eye on the ball. The other side awaits.

  15. I think that it is ok for you to write about this here. This is an incredibly hard decision that you are faced with. I do agree with Mary though, perhaps just “making” the decision is just what you need? Maybe it will release some of the tension that is possible holding back labor from starting? Who knows, our pregnant bodies are a beautiful mystery. It is true there can be risks either way, but you need to listen to your heart and do what you feel is right. A good friend of mine, “Happy Sad Mama” was induced with her second child, and induction failed….so you never know. I think that putting that mind of yours in some ease could and might be good for you though.

  16. thinking of you, b, praying that your little boy arrives safely and healthy and happy.

  17. B, best of luck to you. There is risk in any course of action, but I agree with those guessing that it may take just a little nudge to get your labor started. Have you heard of Bishop score?

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bishop_score

  18. I can see how that would be a difficult decision for you. Good luck.

  19. i got nothing on this one, except a ton of hope and good wishes and eagerness to see all go smoothly and quickly and soon.

    and gratitude, too…for all i don’t mean to minimize how wretched indeed this odd conundrum must be….gratitude that this is the problem you’re faced with, when two months or more ago we were all so afraid that this boy’s arrival was imminent. oh irony, you rascal. time to stop playing games and let this baby be born!

    be well and know we’re all thinking of you and backing you, whatever decisions you make.

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