Pregnancy Weight

The weekend without Josh was both hard and good. I am exhausted from having held Samuel pretty much all day every day but also happy for having held Samuel pretty much all day every day. Such I guess is the character of my life right now.

On January 1 I went shopping briefly, to buy baby wipes and an outfit to wear to a wedding in a couple of weeks. While driving I reflected on the end of 2007, an arbitrary boundary but one I wanted to think about nonetheless. Bookended by both the most awful and most wonderful events, those 12 months bear a significance that left me still reeling. And yet the year was full of non-events. I  spent most of my time between the four walls of this room, on the couch now to my right. First, I sat there in sadness and devastation for most of January 2007, and then, from July to December, I mostly lay there in fear and anticipation. Even if our years weren’t bounded by January and December, this year would have been for me.

I am slowly becoming more active, shedding the figurative weight of my three pregnancies since the spring of 2006. Given how much I struggled to maintain it, perhaps I shouldn’t admit that at the moment I am thrilled to no longer be pregnant. I walked up the hill today to spend an hour at the coffee shop while Samuel slept and I marveled at the ease of my steps. I love how easily I can turn myself in bed, or get up and down from the couch, and I’m even happy to do laundry – something I couldn’t do for months because it is down two flights of stairs, one of them quite steep and uneven.

I’m curious about where this blog will go in the coming weeks and months. Initially I intended to write only for a year – a year of consolation. But the blogging community has become important to me and I am loathe to think of just leaving it behind. I hope that as I adjust to life as a mom of a living baby I’ll find more time to write, and the energy to write more interesting posts. We shall see.

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10 responses to “Pregnancy Weight

  1. i wondered, now that your year has become a new year. i was hoping you’d stay. i am hoping you do.

    and you sound…light. not carefree, but like the figurative weight of three hard pregnancies has indeed shifted from your shoulders, like you have moved into a new place. i smile in your direction.

  2. I hope so too 😉

  3. First of all, thank you for your first paragraph. I am so exhausted yet happy to hold A, you took the words right out of my mouth.

    It sounds perfectly normal to me to be happy not to be pregnant. About a week after having A, I happily stepped out of the shower to show Mr. G how my feet looked and felt normal again, no longer hugely swollen. Oh the joy!!

    The other part I want to thank you for-“I hope that as I adjust to life as mom of a living baby, I’ll find more time to write…” It is very good to know I’m not the only one trying to adjust, and trying to figure it out, so, thanks.

  4. The year that has passed was important, but the years yet to come are an even bigger adjustment, I think. Parenting after loss is a challenge. I hope to hear more about how you do.

  5. I was wondering whether you’d want to continue with your blog. And, of course, hoping that you would.

  6. ditto

  7. Getting through the first year of mourning was significant for me. I definitely felt as though I passed through an imaginary door. Yet this second year, which will be coming to a close in a few weeks, was significant as well. If I am able to get pregnant again I know that there will be plenty of challenges in the months to come.

    Reading your blog during your pregnancy with Samuel hss helped to give me hope and courage to try again. I am so glad that you’ve written and, for not completely selfish reasons (although it kind of sounds like it) I hope that you continue to write.

  8. I hope you continue to write here.

    A few days after the birth of my older daughter I had a moment of unexpected realization that I am not pregnant and it is, for a change, not a bad thing… Something similar to what you describe.

  9. I am approaching the year mark, and I feel there is plenty more to say, even if I don’t yet know what it is. I hope you stay, I hope you keep writing.

  10. Pregnancy Guidelines offers information on all aspects of getting pregnant, and pregnancy that will allow you to make informed decisions about your prenatal care and learn great tips for a healthy pregnancy! Topics include pregnancy symptoms, preterm labor signs, prenatal care, pregnancy complications, your pregnancy week by week, nutrition, labor signs, natural childbirth, breastfeeding & attachment parenting, new baby care, postpartum care, and more!
    http://pregnancyguidelines.blogspot.com

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