Goal Met

For the first time in a long time I set a goal for myself today and met it. It was a small goal, get from 16.5 to 20 full pages. By 5:00 I was onto page 22 and thus could spend the evening not feeling like a slacker. I still am behind on the chapter considering I’ve been hoping to produce 5 pages of rough prose per work day, but I have to start from where I am. Of course tomorrow I have “off” because it’s my day to hang out with Baby Man. Lately I’ve been feeling the nagging of work even when I’m home with him. Maybe tomorrow, having been productive today, I can feel almost completely free of guilt. I say almost because really, I could have written more had I not been so easily distracted.

My mom sent me a virtual greeting card yesterday. I was scared to open it because sometime around now was Natan’s due date. I don’t remember exactly. I was afraid for a moment that she did and that it was yesterday. Not that I would expect her to remember or act on that thought. But still I couldn’t imagine why else I would get a card on a random Tuesday. So I open it and it was for Passover. A bit late, sort of, but since it’s still Passover not too bad. Although she doesn’t usually send a card for Passover so I’m wondering still if she was thinking something else when she sent it. It would be very nice of someone to remember and to tell me they’re thinking of me, but lately I haven’t felt up to talking about grief and Natan. I never thought having Baby Man would make up for losing Natan, but sometimes, to be honest, I wish it would.

I am drinking “Mother’s Milk” tea this evening. I am not sure what’s going on with Baby Man, but since I’ve been working more and pumping more, he’s been getting very crabby while eating. Both on my breast and with the bottle, but more often with the former. I am constantly just one feeding ahead of him with the milk, and so JJ has had to come up to campus in the middle of the day to pick some up. For awhile I was a few feedings ahead, but he must be having a growth spurt because he’s suddenly wanting more. It’s probably a crock (the tea), but I’m hoping to pick up the supply again. I’ve been pumping after every feeding, but he cleans me out so thoroughly I can get less than an ounce from each post-feed. Apparently this is my long-winded way of asking for advice. I’ve looked online, but thought some wisdom from smart women I like might be more helpful.

8 responses to “Goal Met

  1. Well, assvice in hand, I think that tomorrow you should just hang out with Samuel in bed, skin to skin, and let him nurse as much as he likes, and drink and eat and sleep a lot, and your supply will go up.

    They call it the 24 hour cure. Aside form that I’d check if your pump is too small for so much pumping.

  2. drink a beer a day, preferably Guiness, after Pesach, of course.

    If you are truly interested let me know and I have a bunch of things that might make you eyeroll a lot, but made me have more than enough milk to exclusively feed the twins for eight months.

    And with Ace, I chased my tale way too often. I think I quit BF with him more out of frustration than him biting down on me. OUCH!!

  3. I have no advice about bf, but that’s great about meeting your writing goals. You should definitely try to enjoy your day off.

  4. Woohoo on the writing.
    And good luck with the milk supply.

  5. Beer
    Drink lots of water

    Crabby with the feeding…have you any signs of thrush? Eat yogurt for breakfast for a couple of days and see if that helps.

    Good luck!

  6. Dark beer, the darker the better.

    Ditto for the oatmeal and water.

    I think he just doesn’t like this chapter; have you considered a different intro?

  7. My boys were both early teethers (first tooth at four months), and the first sign was fussy feedings. Maybe he’s going to cut a tooth early?

    I would nurse as often as possible, and try to limit bottle feedings. I only say that because when that happened with T, I gave in and offered the bottle more than I should have (because he preferred it) which brought on an all out nursing strike. He weaned himself completely by about five months, which was much earlier than I wanted.

    Way to go on the writing!! Get as much rest as you can and guzzle the water!

  8. I’m so glad you are blogging again/still! I miss you 🙂

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