And he didn’t turn to stone

Re: Wabi’s comment that my sis and niece are a perfect match? We all are. Because my response was, oh man, I wish she’d saved it until I had a chance to see it. And then I spent too much time looking online for images of sinus fungus.


I talked to somebody yesterday that I hated for over a year. From our perspective, he was unconscionably mean to Josh a couple of months after Natan passed. From his perspective, Josh was the one out of line. Misunderstanding built upon misunderstanding. It turns out he didn’t know what had happened.

He apologized. He said he should have acted differently. Had he known, he would have. Still, he should have handled it differently. Maybe we’d have worked it out earlier, and things would have been different.

I expected that he would feel bad, but I thought he would get defensive, and tell me that one of us should have told him and that Josh was still wrong, even if he was hurting. He didn’t. He did not make excuses, just expressed regret for it all.

I’m thinking back over the year that I hated him though, and wondering if there’s a lesson for me in it. There’s not. We were the ones hurt. Other people should have stepped up to help, and in this case, they didn’t. We didn’t do anything wrong.

I thought he might take the fact that I’d let it fester a year as an excuse to make us take the blame. He didn’t.

Sometimes people will surprise you.


6 responses to “And he didn’t turn to stone

  1. It is so nice when people surprise us by being good rather than by hurting us when we least expect it, you know?
    Still doesn’t excuse the jackasses who passed the buck, and I do hope they get chewed out but good.

  2. I’m so glad. Really, really glad. And I hope the friendship can now be rebuilt on a sturdier foundation.

  3. something about that story makes me feel a little bit good about the world…not because you were so hurt, but that, sadly, i already knew. whereas the reminder that occasionally people really step up and own their mistakes? that i forget.

  4. I actually read this from a different angle; the Mr. actually had a friend who, when told the story, for some reason thought it was a miscarriage. And then when he called back months later had no idea why we were still so upset. Until we straightened things out. But I’m still kinda pissed that a) we didn’t have a right to still be pissed even if it was a miscarriage, and b) how the fuck could he not have known?? Selective hearing.

    Anyway. Glad to know this can be fixed.

  5. I glad to hear this. Glad too that you can see so clearly that you didn’t do anything wrong.

    But that’s because I feel like I’ve done so many bad things to so many people that I’ll never be able to make up for them.

  6. As many bridges as I have burning right now, I wouldn’t be surprised if I was working under similar misunderstandings.

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