Conspiracy

So I no sooner pledged to post everyday than I found myself suddenly with intermittent and unpredictable internet access.

Life is suddenly moving so fast. We are traveling non-stop. Last week we were visiting with relatives on JJ’s paternal side.  This week we are with the maternal relatives (way, way easier to deal with). In between we spent one night at home and one night in our new home city. We met new colleagues, who insisted I bring Baby Man and JJ to lunch with us. Baby man had just spent 5 hours in the car, so you can imagine how well he consented to sitting in a high chair at a restaurant while adults tried to discuss things. Not well. But they asked for it, and truly no one seemed bothered by his antics except for us.  Next week we’ll stop by a conference for me, then visit with my family, then go to a wedding, then go home and move on July 31st.  Somewhere in there I have to finish this conference paper and plan to teach in the fall.

I’m sure it will work out fine.

Baby Man has started announcing his dirty diapers. By grabbing his crotch and saying, “peepee.”  Some say that’s a sign he’s ready for potty training. I say, that’s all we need right in the middle of all this change and movement! But I guess it would be nice to be rid of diapers. Especially the cloth ones we use at home. I do think constantly of the waste we’re saving, but oh my lord, rinsing the solid waste of a now totally solid food diet is sometimes really horrible.  Any one have any experience potty training an almost 19 month old? Is that even reasonable?  I know some claim it has been done. But my sister’s children have trained at more like 2.5 to 3.5.

I must be mellowing, because yesterday at a children’s museum I let comments about daycare being bad for kids and a strange inference that I let Baby Man watch too much TV (out of nowhere too, simply because he was looking at a screen) roll off my back without a response. I’ve traveled so much with him this summer, and seen so many different kinds of parenting in just a few weeks time, that I can no longer care. He’s great, we’re fine, and I’m looking forward to this year.

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Relief

I have a job–a real one, that comes with enough money and health insurance.

More later. Have been dealing with a sick father-in-law and a baby bored with “vacation.” 🙂 The former is on the mend and we’re going home tomorrow.

Oh yeah, that’s why I don’t like you!

On the beach today, with a relative.  We are watching Baby Man play, and I am thinking about how I would rather be swimming, or digging, or really anything other than talking to this woman. But I feel guilty, because, well, sometimes I wonder if I’m just mean. If I don’t want to talk to her because I think she’s kind of an idiot. She’s not nearly as educated as I am, and I am sensitive to the idea that I might be overeducated and snobby. My head is certainly full of useless information. And well, considering that I don’t have a job and she does, perhaps I’m the clueless one.

Then she asks, “was it worth it, all you went through to have him.” I blurt, “um, well, uh,” but before I answer she says, “how long were you on bedrest anyway?” I say, “most of the pregnancy, but I was really free to walk around after about 34 weeks.” And she says, “why?” And I answer, “well because the risk of pre-term labor had passed.” She says, “Oh, that’s why you were on bed rest? What was wrong with you?” I, confusedly say, “well, my history made me at high risk for giving birth early.” She responds, “Why? Because you had all those miscarriages?” I kind of stop in my tracks and say, “Um, no, because I had a son who died after being born prematurely.” And she says, “Oh right, oh yeah, now I remember,” and wanders off.

Good part about that conversation is: my guilt is gone. I don’t feel so bad about thinking she’s an idiot now.

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fyi: I have a plan to try to write something here now, everyday or at least every other day, for a month.  We’ll see what happens.