the survey I won’t be filling out on f*book

Seriously, why would someone I know knows about Natan want to send this to me? Does she expect me to lie? Or was my pregnancy with Natan not real? Anyway, here’s what I would answer if I were going to complete this damn survey. It’s bitter.

1) How old were you when your first child was born? 29 years old

2) What month and year was your youngest child born? December 2007

3. How did you feel when you first found out you were pregnant? Super duper excited!

4. Who did you tell first? My husband, my sister, my brother-in-law, my mom, my advisor

5. How many pounds did you gain during your first pregnancy? 15 pounds

6. What did you crave while you were pregnant? Ginger ale

7. Did you find out the gender of your first child? Why or why not? Yes. Because I was hospitalized for pre-term labor, and I thought, well, if chances are this child is going to die, I might as well know as much about him as I can for as long as I can before he does.

8. Did you have any complications during your pregnancy?Yes. The baby died, and I almost did, or did for a moment, depending upon whom you ask.

9. How much did your first child weigh? oh, somewhere around 2 pounds

10. Was your first child early, late, or on time? Rather early.

11. What is the most difficult challenge or health issue that any of your children have faced? Strangulation leading to death

12. What’s your favorite part of being a mom? My living son’s interest in the world around him

13. Do you think it’s easier to be a mom or a dad? I’m glad I’m a mom, not a dad

14. What is the best piece of advice you could give to someone who is about to have their first child? Tell other people to piss off, unless they’re offering to buy you dinner or help clean your house.

15. Did you always think you’d have kids? Yes

16. What’s been the biggest surprise about motherhood? That you still feel like a mom when your baby is dead

17. Are there things you miss about life before kids? Not knowing about number 16
18. How many children do you have? 2
19. Do you plan to have any more children? I’m not “planning” anything in terms of this question
20. Who’s the mom that you admire most? My sister.
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6 responses to “the survey I won’t be filling out on f*book

  1. Clueless isn’t sufficient enough.
    I’m sorry.

  2. This would be my impetus to just defriend…..ouch, so sorry.

  3. Seriously…number 11 made me laugh out loud. How sick am I?!?!?!

  4. Tis okay. Number 11 made me laugh too. That’s how we get by.

  5. Honestly, I think 11, 16, 17 and 19 say it all.

    My otherwise sensitive sisters-in-law have sent me forwards or surveys like this. Not many, but enough to make me ask, “What on earth are they thinking?” and, “I would love to really respond to one of these.”

    For a while, there were a bunch of “Anyone want my three-year old?” on FB, even from my SILs and I *really really* wanted to say, “I’ll take her.” But I knew they/she would feel bad and be all apologetic, and I just didn’t want to deal.

  6. This made me laugh and cry all at once.Keeping the humor going helps when people are clueless.

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