What to say

When Msfitzita first commented on my blog, she said she wished the losses had stopped with her Thomas. It’s been almost three months since Natan was born/died and over three months since I went into pre-term labor. It still seems so present to me that it seems impossible that other couples would have already had time to lose their infants. We should have been the last. But then it occurs to me that given statistics, I wasn’t even the last on the day Natan died. It was early in the morning on January 3rd, so there was time for probably seventy other babies to be born still or die in the US on that day.

I wish the deaths had stopped with Natan. What a funny thing to say, since I wish the losses had never started in the first place. I can’t bring Natan back, and at this point, we can’t bring back the babies who’ve died since. But while wanting our babies back might be wishful thinking, wanting the losses to stop is hope.

[This post was inspired by my stumbling onto “Vegetarian Mom with a Vegan Baby” and realizing her Birdie was born two months after Natan. Why why why]

2 responses to “What to say

  1. Wow Sara… I can’t believe it has only been three months for you. I’m not sure at only three months past my loss I could have had the presence of mind, or the ability to look beyond myself, to even think about all of the other lost babies. That is a testament to your character and your desire to respond to your loss in a way that is bigger than just you.

    I do think of it now though. The recent loss of baby Louis that I spoke of in Another Goodbye has really affected me. His was another death where so many small, unfortunate events conspired together and resulted in a loss that should not have been. It makes me sad.

    I hope you love Rabbi Wolpe’s book as much as I have. I seriously pick it up and read pieces of it all the time. I’m glad you were able to find it, it isn’t the easiest book to get your hands on.

  2. Every time a child dies, and I hear about it, I feel upset, like the injustice is there all over again, y’know?

    Like, why didn’t they learn the first time? Why did it have to happen again?

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