After yesterday’s post, maybe you all are wishing this were Josh’s blog. But since he’s currently doing everything else in the house except for sleeping and taking pills, I thought I’d see if I could manage to get the connection to cooperate long enough for me to post.
I slept until 10am this morning. That felt nice and lazy. Uterus is relatively calm. Baby is active. I, however, am a complete basket case, absolutely terrified. I know the stats are strongly on our side now, but I’m so scared something will go wrong. Part of me wishes we were in the hospital, just so I’d be feet away from the NICU, but I also realize it could still be weeks until I deliver and it’s much healthier and less stressful here. The uncertainty is driving me insane. I also think I should be working but my inclination is to stare at the ceiling concentrating on keeping my cervix closed and chanting “stay in there” to the baby. Fun times.
My sister helped a lot yesterday. When I said, “at least the baby’s been head down for the last week and a half,” she said, “that means nothing, the baby can still turn.” Thanks. The doctors have all been emphasizing his position as a positive. Have we forgotten that a suddenly flipping to breech baby is one of my biggest fears? People’s memories are so short.