Last night

I could hardly sleep because in thinking about how confident I feel about this pregnancy, I couldn’t stop wondering if Natan would have had a better chance with a different doctor.

7 responses to “Last night

  1. It is so good that you are feeling confident about this pregnancy, that you trust your doctor.

    Yet I know these thoughts and I wish that I could take them from you somehow.


  2. I know what you mean. It’s so hard to stop second guessing the doctor and, in my case, myself. It’s not very productive and it certainly depresses me, but I can’t help wondering: what if….

  3. Oh I will always wonder that. In fact, I think I can say without question that my twins would have had a *better* chance with a different doctor. Whether better really would have meant a different outcome though is impossible to say.

    It’s hard to live with those kinds of questions where we will never have the answer. I have gone through phases of really beating myself up with all of the “what ifs”, but I’m in a better place right now- thankfully.

  4. You know, that’s one thing I have been grateful for– I believe I have just about the best doctor in the world, and nothing anyone could have reasonably done would have changed a thing. That doesn’t mean, however, that I am not thinking up craziest schemes for what to do next time.

  5. LeRoy Dissing

    I think it is human nature to second guess even though there is nothing we can do to change the past except to learn from it. I, too, am glad you are feeling confident now about this pregnancy. I am so hoping everything goes well!

  6. Ditto on what Leroy said. I am just glad you have a wonderful doctor now and that you’re feeling confident.

  7. If if if

    Very hard questions. Really there is no way of knowing that. I ask myself all the time what could’ve been done, and I’ll never know for sure.

    There are definitely some Docs I’d like to freak at, because even if I can’t prove they caused my losses, they certainly didn’t inspire confidence in me, or give me the emotional support I needed. And that matters too, because it affects how you view your losses and your future pregnancy chances.

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